Sunday, July 7, 2013

The Unknown

Alice with her big brother and big sister (Trevor and Cassidy) on July 4th. 

No update yet, I just need to vent I guess. I am such a nervous wreck. My head hasn't even let me get nervous about the surgery yet because everything is so up in the air right now. I don't know if her surgery will be in DC, Boston or possibly even in Richmond. After the appointment tomorrow we should have more of an idea...we will either be scrambling to get to Boston, or scheduling the surgery in DC very soon or worse case scenario, waiting for the larger more invasive surgery in the fall. The unknown is tearing me up! If I find out that the surgery is this week or next, then I think I will physically become ill when it sinks in...the thought of my baby being sedated and in surgery is such a scary thing. As a parent, we want to protect our children and don't want them to be afraid, be in pain or be upset in any way, especially at this age when they are so innocent and have no idea what is about to happen. I know this will help her in the long run, but she doesn't understand that. I can't imagine the emotions I am going to feel when they take my baby out of my arms to the operating room...or the flood of emotions that will hit me when I see her after surgery, swollen, upset, scared...ugh it just tears my heart up! Like I said, it's like nothing I have ever experienced before...the unknown is so scary.

Alice's first time in the big girl tub in her bath seat. She loved it!